Mistress Monologues - Nina's Known Universe Blog

2009 kicked off with a new digital camera for the Empress which she used to capture as much of the natural beauty around her Empire as she could. At the end of this yarn you will find a quick slide show sampling some of her favorite images from each month of the past year. Pictures are worth 1000 words, however this reflection is more about feelings than it is about visuals.

Over the past year we have traveled, laughed, loved and learned. We have taken great pleasure in the little things like; watching the dogs play, meteor showers, fireworks and walks down the creek. We have spent hours on Facebook, interacting with folks all across the globe, playing games, discussing politics and reconnecting with long lost friends and family.

We have learned how great it feels to give your daddy the best 80th birthday gift ever..."I am in love with my chair..." he stated with a sly grin and a lilt in his voice...and we learned that sand makes the fiberglass seats in a hot tub pitted, which leads to chaffing, which leads to pain, which also lead to a nice rub down with salve...

There was the family camp out at the creek, some amazing sunsets, adventures with equipment and appliances that choose the worst times to malfunction and lots of trips to the big city. Special days, birthdays, baby showers, holidays and holy days. In just about every fond moment there was at least one black dog and one Emperor. Without the efforts of The Emperor, 2009 would not have been as great as it was. Ever vigilant is the Emperor with keeping his Empress in smiles.

This past year could have been worse, and for some close to us it was. To them our hearts go out as they work through their loss. Never mourning the dead for they have gone on to a better place, instead mourning the empty place in our lives now filled only with their spirit and our memories. Still others suffered different losses, divorce, estranged family, and altered states of employment. For all of them we pray for and hope that their next year will be far better than this last.

Looking ahead to 2010, with many plans, dreams, hopes and aspirations, The Empire resolves only to build on the past, learning from it without living there. May you all have a Very Happy and SAFE New Years!! God Bless, Namaste, Blessed Be, Live Long and Prosper and May the Force Be With You!!

Thank You For Reading!! ~99

Be sure to watch for all 12 months

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Here at the Palace, we have much to be thankful for and so we take this opportunity to share that gratitude with our Universe. First, the Empress is thankful for dear friends and family who hopefully do not take her rantings as personal attacks or reflections of her feelings for any of them and that she realizes she is often stepping on their ideals and beliefs. It is because of them that she vents in this manner to make it less likely to spew into her personal conversations with the people she cares most about in this Universe.

Often strong opinions are taken as arrogance or even being pig-headed. At her heart she is an advocate for all peoples and their rights to do what they want to do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. She just also believes there is a time and a place for all things and that not everything has to be everywhere. She feels that once the door to our personal freedoms have been breached, even in the name of God, it will only swing wider until all that we have now, is lost to fear, hate and short sightedness.

She is so very thankful to live in this great country where she can write such strong words, where she can swim in the venom of unspoken animosity, and where she can freely share her words with most of the free world without fear of being carted off in the night for treason or blasphemy. She is also thankful for those people who do not label her, for no group is completely Empress Approved. In fact, she feels that the groups are the problem. One of the problems.

The Empire is also thankful to all those who bother to read these articles, never knowing if it will be sweet, sour or sexy. Too many have been sour of late for which the Empress is deeply sorry. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It is not the things that people say that has The Empress fearing for all of our futures and being thankful for every day that it doesn't blow up in our faces...it is the things that they are not saying. Things like, "I see your point, I had not considered that before, let me think it over then we can discuss your thoughts further."

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!! And Thank You For Reading!! ~99

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It doesn't seem fair in some respects. When you weigh the emotional, possibly physical or financial pain caused by another against their words of apology, a clearly unbalanced scale presents itself. Then again, if you add to their apology years of friendship or love iced with any deeds they surely did on your behalf, the scale begins to level out. Unfortunately not all requests for forgiveness come from first time offenders.

So where do we draw the line in dealing with what amounts to an emotional vampire? Be it an old friend or relative who has repeatedly hurt you despite your best efforts to never hurt them, or the partner who never seems to put your feelings above their own, in many ways they are slaves to their own issues. They don't know how to take responsibility for their own actions.

They are not insincere. Perhaps more people are bipolar than ever get diagnosed. Perhaps they are just emotionally immature and selfish. If someone wrongs you, assuming you have never wronged them, you may be better off not accepting their apologies. If there is nothing about your time with that person worth reminiscing over, then by all means, cut the cord. Just be sure.

I guess in the end it boils down to ones tolerance. Personally, I believe that in 'most' friendships, there is plenty of room for forgiveness and letting go of the past for the sake of the future. Simply because it really does not effect my day to day to let another off the hook for some past hurt. I may not jump at the chance to let them back into my heart or ever depend on them, but we really need all the friends we can get. The more the merrier.

Everyone has something to offer that we can all learn from. So where is the harm in being civil, even friendly to someone, even if they have hurt us in the past? Assuming they want to be friends that is. Any one sided relationship is not a relationship...it's stalking. If you are seeking forgiveness from someone who is not interested, don't demean yourself by begging and absolutely don't turn their lack of forgiveness into some sort of personal attack against you. If you truly want their forgiveness, earn it by respecting their right to not give it.

Couples are another story. It's not to say we shouldn't be forgiving to our spouses or significant others depending on what they have done. Simply that there is no other relationship so doomed to fail from the start as two humans attempting to share an existence together and thus requires a tad more effort to maintain...by both parties. However, if your spouse refuses to be there for you...if your relationship is so off balance that you feel as if being alone would be less traumatic, the first thing you should do is sit them down and tell them that.

Spelling it out before you bail often leads to reconciliation. Only if both parties truly do not want it to end of course. Quite often is it a lack of speaking up that is the problem. Bring in a third party to help you see each others points of view. Focus on what was great about your relationship, use it to make compromise over the bad stuff worth the effort. Be honest. At this point you have nothing to lose by clearing the air.

Then, after you have weighed in your years together, your memories and your achievements as a couple, you have to then decide if your issues are really worth the price. Our lives are not infinite. Time invested in a relationship has value that must be considered before liquidating. Just because the performance is down now, doesn't mean there is no way to re-stimulate growth.

Even if ultimately you decide to make a break, be careful how you go. Somethings are unforgivable to some people. Whether a friendship or a relationship, which should first be a friendship anyway, think long and hard before you burn all your bridges, make sure you really have no intention of every going back. Lastly and most importantly, in the immortally profound words of Abe Lincoln {from the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure}:

"Be Excellent to Each Other...And Party On Dudes!!"